I Shit Music

Ok, so last month on Cinco de Mayo, I hopped in a party-bus here in Portland, became massively inebriated, and had one of the top 20 most raging concert experiences of my life seeing Van Halen in Tacoma. The band was on fire – Eddie was a friggin’ monster, taking his new grasp on sobriety and channeling the thunder gods through his fingers. David Lee Roth was still a total ham(fortunately) and his vocals more or less were able to last the whole show. What was most noticeable though, was the ridiculous amount of fun the entire band was having on stage with one another. Eddie would laugh at Roth’s crazy old ninja moves, unable to wipe the massive smile off his face during their entire 2 and a half hour set. They all laughed with and at each other during slight flubs that only accentuated the raw rock attack they were showcasing. Shit was beyond my expectations, and believe me after waiting 25 years to see one of my all time favorite bands, my expectations were fucking huge.

So what’s been driving me crazy since the show is the fact that whenever I try to tell somebody how totally epic and amazing the performance was, I’m always met with a “Yeah, too bad they hate each other and couldn’t keep it going.” This comment is derived from the fact that last month VH announced they were postponing a large string of upcoming dates. Rolling Stone printed an anonymous insider comment claiming that the band hated each other. And that total douche-bag Sammy Hagar instantly posted comments on how he was expecting the cancellation to happen earlier, stating:  “They’re hard people to get along with, those brothers… Otherwise I’d still be in the band.” But HERE’S the thing – all those comments and rumors were complete bullshit. The band was quick to announce that actually they’re just old and didn’t realize how worn out a 250 date tour would leave them. They say they’re getting along “famously” and that they just need to catch their breath. But the fact that Van Halen are happy with each other isn’t news – so nobody covered it. It’s the same thing as when Fox News fully reports on someone being accused of a crime, but will never file a follow-up report stating that the person was falsely-accused. People just want to hear shocking and shitty news, so even Rolling Stone didn’t care enough to publish a follow-up saying: “Our bad – VH is actually rocking and happy.”

So guess what? The band is on fire, happy, and probably ready to rock for another 10 years. Oh and Sammy Hagar? He’s a washed-up piece of shit playing in the ultimate “stuck in 1988″ band of all time. You know why you’re not in VH anymore Sammy? Because you fucking blow, that’s why buddy. I can assure you, no-one walked out of Tacoma last month saying – “I really wish they would have pulled out a ‘Right Now’” – Nobody buddy… your name wasn’t even mentioned.  So watch David Lee’s video post below, where he explains the postponement – sadly it seems only 4,000 people have watched it. That essentially means there’s probably a solid half-million folks out there who think the band hates each other, since no new folks re-reported on it. So now the evil ways of Fox News are infiltrating Rock and Roll. Just sit back and let Eddie fucking melt your face already people.