I Shit Music

With yesterday’s release of the new Flying Lotus “Tiny Tortures” video, something truly struck me deep – when the hell did having Frodo in your music video be the new hip thing to do? Including yesterday’s brilliant release, the past 2 years have found Elijah Wood as the official centerpiece in videos for three of my favorite musical acts of the past half-decade. A little research and a quick firing of some underused neurons from my youth made me realize it’s been going on for quite some time though. Thus here are the Top 5 music videos starring Mr. Wood. And I’m starting with #1 – because the brilliant new Flying Lotus feature doesn’t deserve to be buried at the bottom of this blog.

#1 – Flying Lotus – “Tiny Tortures”
If you haven’t gotten on the Lotus tip yet, then you’re seriously denying yourself one of the most incredible, and true “artists” existing in music today. There’s a reason Thom Yorke has a permanent boner for him, and this beautiful video off the recent Until the Quiet Comes album shows every reason why.

#2 – The Apples in Stere0 – “Dancefloor”
I honestly believe that the Apples are the most underrated and greatest unknown band of the past 20 years. Front-man Robert Schneider has had an incomparably prolific run that doesn’t seem to show any signs of waning. This video from 2010 is one of their bouncier tracks, but still features a dark, ironic chorus hook that is the true definition of the band.

#3 – Beastie Boys – “Make Some Noise”
Can you fucking believe MCA is really no longer a resident of planet Earth? Goddammit – well at least they went out with a bang. And while boy-faced Elijah wouldn’t be my first pick to portray Ad-Rock, it does all seem to make sense in this video. If you haven’t seen the full half-hour version yet, than definitely work it into your day somehow.

#4 – Paula Abdul – “Forever Your Girl”
Don’t act like you didn’t watch this video every afternoon on MTV in 1989. Shit’s catchy as all hell – don’t deny it. Well actually deny it, because it does basically make you want to stab yourself. But yes, cut to 1:45, and the stressed-out Robert Palmer looking kid at the desk is none other than El Senor Wood.

#5 – The Cranberries – “Ridiculous Thoughts”
Man, The Cranberries really didn’t age well. I remember in the early 90′s hearing one random song of theirs and thinking, “Ah man, this tune is actually really fucking good.” Can’t remember what it was though – and it wasn’t “Zombie” and it’s definitely not this. But at least they were forward thinking enough to get Elijah in, so I guess they were slightly hip before new hip was hip.

Obtrusive geek alert warning – I now speak of my acclaim for the sadly under-esteemed Robert Schneider. Perhaps one of the smartest men in rock music today, Schneider is a pop-perfectionist when it comes to his band Apples in Stereo. And while I could drive my rant towards comparisons to a level-headed Brian Wilson and my adoration for nearly the entire span of the band’s 10+ years of work, I instead highlight an awesome new segment that’s popped up on the band’s site as of late.

While many genius artists have involved mathematics in their music before – from Mozart to Phoenix, the Apples may be the first band I can recall using a new non-Pythagorean music scale. Now if you go to the band’s page: http://www.applesinstereo.com/pythagorean.php, you can get the full rundown. It is fairly complicated though, so in short:

Essentially, the twelve-tone music scale that we associate with all of Western music, is based on a scale that while sounding good to our ears, actually doesn’t fall into a natural mathematical formula. If we were to make a new 12 tone scale as based upon the natural logarithms of successive whole numbers, we would get a whole new system of instinctively irrational numbers and tones. The new scale begins with large spacings between the notes, and ends with smaller spacings between the notes. It’s easier heard than explained, so let Professor Schneider make it clearer below.

Magically what he has done though, is written new songs using this brand new scale. And while odd at first, after a few tries the new patterns begin to sound and make sense. It’s almost as though the patterns within tones are so deep, that we could have actually evolved into a humanity that pulses within an entirely different set of wave structures. A crazy way to think about the realms of potential destiny we all spiral within, know what I’m saying?

And some Apples: